


captains of dumbasses

by lawltam



Series: next gen captains week 2018 [3]
Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Crack, Gen, groupchat, mild swearing, next gen captains week 2018, ngc-week, text fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-30
Updated: 2018-08-30
Packaged: 2019-07-04 14:00:42
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 797
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15842757
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lawltam/pseuds/lawltam
Summary: The captains reflect on the past of their teams.They decide that the members aren't very bright.(next gen captains week, day 3: past)





	captains of dumbasses

_**Group Chat: big boys with balls** _

**futachin:** hey yahaba remember that time during our match at qualifiers where you wall slammed mad dog

**shirabooboo:** he WHAT

**hoot hoot v2:** omg

**yababy:** WHY WOULD YOU 

**yababy:** okay look

**yababy:** in my defence

**yababy:** he was being a fuckin asshole oh my god

**no-shit-a:** understandable. once, hinata served a ball right to kageyama’s head

**teruteru-chan:** ?????

**teruteru-chan:** isn’t kageyama your setter

**no-shit-a:** yup

**no-shit-a:** and then he said something to hinata and the kid’s been scared ever since

**hoot hoot v2:** interesting

**hoot hoot v2:** once, bokuto spiked a ball into the net

**teruteru-chan:** oh that’s not bad

**hoot hoot v2:** and the ball bounced back into his face

**shirabooboo:** WHAT

**futachin:** BROO THATS FUCKING PRICELESS

**hoot hoot v2:** it left a really red mark on his face. 

**shirabooboo:** isn’t he one of the top five spikers in the country

**hoot hoot v2:** yup 

**shirabooboo:** interesting. 

**futachin:** once koganekawa spiked a ball to my dick

**yababy:** WHAT

**yababy:** HOW THE FUCK

**futachin:** the guy’s a mess, man

**teruteru-chan:** that’s sounds so painful are you okay babe

**futachin:** my feelings aren’t

**shirabooboo:** nobody CARES about your feelings

**futachin:** ouchie

**teruteru-chan:** what’s your unfortunate volleyball mishap, shirabu

**shirabooboo:** well this is more of a constant thing than a specific event

**hoot hoot v2:** yeah what is it

**shirabooboo:** all of the fucking third years were so goddamn annoying last year oh my fucking god

**no-shit-a:** elaborate, peasant

**shirabooboo:** don’t fucking call me that 

**shirabooboo:** okay so first off

**shirabooboo:** tendou… he started it all

**futachin:** started what

**shirabooboo:** the shiratorizawa meme farm

**hoot hoot v2:** i’m sorry the WHAT

**shirabooboo:** that’s the secret. i’ve leaked it. 

**shirabooboo** shiratorizawa is a fucking shitfest i swear to god

**shirabooboo:** it started with tendou requesting that we do warmups in form of zumba

**teruteru-chan:** NO

**shirabooboo:** *very quietly* yes

**shirabooboo:** and then…. we warmed up in tempo of all star by smash mouth

**hoot hoot v2:** you what

**shirabooboo:** and then one thing lead to another, we know the choreography to high school musical’s fabulous

**teruteru-chan:** oh my god

**no-shit-a:** who plays sharpay

**shirabooboo:** …

**yababy:** no.

**hoot hoot v2:** is this for fucking real

**futachin:** SHIRABU

**futachin:** YOU KNOW SHARPAY EVANS’ CHOREOGRAPHY IN FABULOUS.

**shirabooboo:** LOOK. 

**shirabooboo:** TENDOU WAS DESPERATE AND HE ASKED USHIJIMA AND I CANT SAY NO TO THAT GUY 

**shirabooboo:** but enough about shiratorizawa meme farm

**shirabooboo:** wbu enno

**no-shit-a:** uhhh

**no-shit-a:** well. tanaka strips every day so i guess that’s not really special 

**teruteru-chan:** hey i do that too!! 

**teruteru-chan:** honestly my entire team does that

**futachin:** god that sounds like a blast

**no-shit-a:** anyway

**no-shit-a:** sometimes yamaguchi would be in a bad mood and talk back and it’s honestly the most terrifying thing ever

**yababy:** seriously? that pinch setter right?

**no-shit-a:** yup

**teruteru-chan:** sounds hot

**futachin:** dude

**teruteru-chan:** chill i still love you 

**shirabooboo:** film him next time

**no-shit-a:** last time it happened, tsukishima had said “shut up, yamaguchi” (he always does, not in a mean way or anything) and yams said “no, tsukki, YOU shut up” super loudly and like the entire gym just quieted down and we all looked at the duo, who were standing next to each other at the time

**hoot hoot v2:** oh my

**no-shit-a:** yeah and like i guess tsukishima was in a bad mood that day too?? he said something i didn’t quite catch then yamaguchi dropped the ball that was in his hands and was suddenly clutching tsukishima’s shirt and glaring at him and like had his face real close

**shirabooboo:** holy shit

**shirabooboo:** their ust is crazy

**yababy:** wtf is ust 

**futachin:** unresolved sexual tension

**no-shit-a:** uhh yeah that’s not really a problem with them

**teruteru-chan:** why not

**no-shit-a:** they’re dating

**yababy:** wait seriously

**hoot hoot v2:** ???? wasn’t it obvious??? 

**shirabooboo:** yeah they were really gay last year i remember

**shirabooboo:** yamaguchi would only cheer for glasses kun

**hoot hoot v2:** what about you, teru?

**teruteru-chan:** oh my god he just nicknamed me

**teruteru-chan:** um well uh 

**yababy:** his sudden bashfulness is making me anxious

**teruteru-chan:** i was caught giving head in the showers during practice

**no-shit-a:** WHAT

**shirabooboo:** WILD

**futachin:** um

**yababy:** jesus fucking christ terushima

**hoot hoot v2:** please elaborate you slut

**teruteru-chan:** okay well this actually happened last year 

**teruteru-chan:** i was getting it on with my boyfriend at the time 

**teruteru-chan:** he was a third year and he’s graduated already but

**teruteru-chan:** yeah we got there early and uhhh things escalate??

**hoot hoot v2:** wild

**yababy:** truly

**shirabooboo:** who caught you

**teruteru-chan:** fortunately is was only my teammate and he didn’t snitch

**teruteru-chan:** hopefully

**shirabooboo:** nice

**futachin:** wicked

**hoot hoot v2:** disgusting

**no-shit-a:** our teams are messes aren’t they

**hoot hoot v2:** absolutely

**teruteru-chan:** i love it

**Author's Note:**

> IM SO SORRY FOR POSTING THIS SO LATE i was going to write them all at once then post them in a row but its been a super long time since ive posted so heres this while i work on this others
> 
> also sorry that this isnt that funny hnnghh


End file.
